We promised to keep it real here, so I wanted to share our experience with post wedding blues, one of those things nobody talks about! What are post wedding blues?? I think of them as literally the “come down” from the “high” of being surrounded by so much positive energy from all your favorite people.
Sadness After the I DO’s
In the time leading up to our wedding, I had a friend tell me she was a little sad when her wedding was over because wedding planning had felt like a second job to her. When it was over all of the sudden, she told me she didn’t know what to do with her spare time. I laughed at the notion–on top of wedding planning, I was running my own design business and working on this site, so I had plenty to keep me busy after the wedding. In fact, I was very excited to get back to focusing on my business.
After our wedding, we had a day-after BBQ at the lake before everyone headed home on Sunday. Meanwhile, Micah and I would head up to June Lake, CA to go to a spa, go fishing, and just chill for a night. I thought I would be so excited for our “Mini Moon” night away. I can be introverted at times and often get overwhelmed when there are too many people around. I find it over-stimulating at times. I had mentally prepared to be ecstatic, newly-married, and off for some much-needed quiet time with my new husband. However, that was not the case. Almost the minute we drove away from our family and friends, we both got really sad. I like to call this “post wedding blues”.
In My Own Head
I was a little “in my own head,” if you will, and I was afraid to admit to my new husband that I was sad. We had just gotten married, had the most perfect wedding, and are so in love, so how could I be sad and how would he take it if I told him? It wasn’t until later that day when the two of us were fishing off a remote stream that I bucked up and told him that I felt really anxious for some reason. To my relief, he told me he felt the same way! I explained how I was having anxiety about not having had enough time with certain people who traveled really far for our wedding. I was having complete photo “fomo” (fear of missing out), second-guessing and wishing we had gotten photos that I knew we hadn’t, like big family photos. I had this urge to be with my family again, almost like a homesick kid at summer camp.
Social Media Does Not Help Post Wedding Blues
Going on social media only made the anxiety increase. I was sad the wedding weekend was over, and like a breakup it was hard to look at people’s photos and posts from the event. I decided to refrain from the Instagram feed for a while. The more I thought about our wedding, the more I realized it was euphoric, filled with tears of joy and nonstop laughs. My brain had been releasing dopamine for the past 48 hours, and now it had to come down from that high and regulate itself. It was a true come down: something totally out of my control, a chemical reaction in my brain.
The next day we headed home and, to my relief, once we were back home and around our family, the feeling began to subside.
Photos Can Dredge Up Feelings
I recently got our wedding photos back, and while they are insanely beautiful and I couldn’t be happier, I still get this lingering anxious feeling looking at them, kicking myself for not taking that one family photo we missed. I downloaded all the photos but haven’t had it in me to go through and organize them yet or start to put together a wedding album. Part of me is afraid of dredging up that anxious feeling again. It’s one of those things where you can tell yourself “it’s just a photo” or “get over it, it’s done,” but for some reason that feeling is still there.
I know that over time that feeling will go away completely. Time has a way of making big things small. Wedding photo “fomo” and post wedding blues will not even be a thought in my brain in a few months. However, I wanted to share these feelings while they are still relevant in hopes they will help other newlywed couples realize they are not alone. Post wedding blues are a real thing and something out of your control, but recognizing the feelings are the first step in moving past them.
Did you feel the post wedding blues after your wedding? If so we would love to hear your story!
If you are still in the planing phases? Check out my tips on dealing with wedding stress!
If you are also planning a mountain wedding like we did check out this Pinterest board!